One of the most difficult things that a living being can go through, is loss. This loss can be a divorce, a job, money, a breakup or death etc. Loss can be debilitating. It can suck the life right out of you. The most important thing to remember, is that you are not alone.

The human response to loss is different for everyone. I have had much loss in my life. To the point where I hit one of the lowest points in my life. During that time, I read a lot about dealing with death. I read account after account of the stages of grief. This may work for some people. It did not work for me. Loss can consume you for months, years and the really difficult one’s will be with you for life. It is really up to you to decide if you want to let the loss eat you alive or if you can learn from it and learn to live with it. Some people say, why are you still sad about this loss it has been over a year. But, everyone is unique and deals with these sort of stressers in their own way. Just because someone thinks you should be “over” the loss, doesn’t mean you should be. Take your time. Figure things out and work it out in your time frame, not based on what someone else is telling you.

If you find yourself struggling with loss, here are some pointers from a witchy perspective. Don’t forget that you are who you are. Just because a technique works for one person does not mean that it will work for you. Don’t be afraid to try something out though. You may find that what scares you the most will also help you the most.

• Meditate I can’t say this enough. Meditation is a very important part of who you are. Meditation can take mere minutes. Or in some cases you may need a longer session. Sit in a space where you can’t be bothered. This is difficult for some people. It might be because they are always surrounded by people or they may be afraid to be alone. If you can’t be alone with yourself and take care of yourself, it is a little more difficult to be there fully for others. Use your meditation time wisely. Sift through your feelings. Or if you need this time to get away from your true feelings, use the meditation as a way to relax and clear your mind of all thoughts. It can be hard for most people to be alone in their mind with all of their emotions and thoughts. So, if you need time to just breathe, do that. Concentrate on your breathing and temporarily shut your emotions and thoughts off. I know that it seems difficult, but, it can be done.
• Cry  Some people are afraid to show emotion. Loss is a very emotional thing. In order to understand the loss, you need to be able to shed the tears. If you suppress these tears, you are suppressing the emotions that come along with the tears. Just because it is easier to suppress the emotion, doesn’t mean it is healthier. Take time to let the tears out.
• Talk Confide in a friend, a loved one, a family member or a professional. In some cases you may want to join a grief group. Some people suffer from severe anxiety and being around other people can be taxing on your soul. I am exactly this way. For me it is easier to work one on one. And in most instances alone. Your form of talking can also be in written form. Journal writing and asking yourself the hard questions can also help you along the way. Dig deep so that you make these journal writing or talking sessions worthwhile. This is also a good time for you to write letters to the person who has passed on or about the issue. Write it directly to the situation. If you are in the middle of a divorce or break-up write the letter to them. When the letter is written, one of my favorite things to do, is burn the letter. At this time, I normally perform a small ritual. Most times I do this outside. You should do what feels best and right for you. I will normally call upon the Universe for guidance and help. I ask that as the words are burned for them to also be burned from me. So that I may be at peace and accepting of the situation. When this is done, I will bury the ashes in the Earth. The Earth will then consume them along with any leftover emotions. You may only need one of these talking/writing sessions or you may need many. It is up to you to determine what you need. No one can make that decision for you. You are the ruler of you.
• Scream Scream the pain out. Sometimes I will go out in the middle of nowhere and scream. Or scream into a pillow. Or just scream and cry. Get the feelings out. If you get them out in the open, out of your mind, then you will be able to see them for what they really are. Be angry just to get the anger out. Because if the anger sits inside, you will start to live and feel an angry life. Most people don’t truly want to be angry. Don’t be afraid to feel these feelings, but, also don’t let them consume you whole.
• Let go This could mean, say goodbye. It could also mean to just let go of control. In cases of losing a job or money, it feels better to learn your part in the loss. This way you can let go of the feeling of loss and get out of the pit of despair to fix it. If you have experienced a break up or divorce, let go of control over that person or the control that they had over you. When you remove yourself from the situation and analyze it a little you may be able to determine what went wrong. Is it something that you could have stopped? Is there something you can change about yourself to make you a better you? Can you learn from this incident? If the loss is death, let go of control of this. You can not control who passes on. Death is by far the hardest to let go of. It is the one aspect of life that you can not control in any way shape or form. It comes on unexpectedly. Even if someone has been sick for years or is elderly and you knew they were going to pass, the loss of them is still unexpected. Mostly because, we did not fully realize what it would feel like to no longer have their energy in this plain of existence. It is almost like a real piece of you has been ripped away.
• Keep living This one is the hardest part of all. Because regardless what the loss is, you have to still gain the strength to keep living, breathing, eating and eventually functioning. How you want to keep living is up to you. Do you want to live with your grief or do you want to live consumed by grief.

 

Whatever your loss is, you have to choose how you want to deal with it. If you need someone to talk to I am always here to listen. Please feel free to email me at cousinscoven2@gmail.com.

Thank you for reading, listening and joining me along in this journey of life.

May you find happiness in your heart, love for yourself and joy in each other. Blessings to all.

-Wendy